Redneck

Giant, Spaghetti-Stuffed Meatball – Et Tu, Testicles? (tes-ti-kleese)

So Skillethead and I found a recipe for a giant, spaghetti-stuffed meatball, and we decided we obviously had to make it. Because America.

We did a combination of two recipes, essentially using the meatball recipe from #1 and the procedure from #2.

Recipe 1:

This recipe is the original one we found and seems to have been making the rounds on Facebook. Cream is a weird addition (I guess you’d normally put it in Swedish meatballs? Maybe?), and 8 cloves is WAY too much garlic for 3 lbs of meat, even for us. Otherwise we basically followed this meat recipe.

They strangely tell you to “blanch the pasta according to package directions.” What the hell kind of pasta is she buying that tells you to do that? And their suggestion for how to put the meatball together is more complicated than it needs to be. They’ve got you attempting to fold in the edges with plastic wrap. The video does make this process clearer, and it also tells you to just cook the stupid pasta. So basically just ignore the written recipe and watch the video.

http://cooktopcove.com/2016/02/26/spaghetti-stuffed-giant-meatball-a-recipe-your-family-will-die-for/

Ingredients
3 pounds ground beef
1/4 box spaghetti
1 jar marinara
1 cup plain bread crumbs
4 eggs
8 cloves garlic, minced
1 cup powdered parmesan cheese
1/4 cream
1/2 bunch fresh basil chopped
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon pepper

Recipe 2:

We had no desire to make our own marinara for this so…whatever. We ain’t tryin to be all fancy with our big ass meatball. We just bought a jar of Classico. RE: The meatball recipe itself – random ingredients include: seltzer and Worcestershire. I mean…whatever makes you happy I guess?   We assume the seltzer is intended to make it fluffier or some shit? The Worcestershire would probably be good, it might bring out the flavor of the meat or something, but we thought it was weird so we left it out. Finally, 1 tsp of garlic doesn’t seem to be enough. Somewhere between 1 tsp and 8 cloves, there’s a happy medium, people.

As far as the meatball formation procedure in recipe 2 goes, her instructions seem more logical and easier than recipe 1. You basically form the meat into a hollow sphere in a foil-lined bowl and then create a meat-lid and seal the edges. This also helps it sit flat on a platter rather than an actual ball would.

 

https://www.popsugar.com/food/Giant-Spaghetti-Stuffed-Meatball-Food-Video-39953440

For the pasta:

  1. 4 ounces angel hair pasta
  2. 1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
  3. 1 teaspoon crushed garlic
  4. 1 (28-ounce) can tomato sauce
  5. 1 (28-ounce) can crushed tomatoes with basil
  6. 6 basil leaves, chiffonade
  7. 1 teaspoon Kosher salt
  8. 1 pinch crushed red pepper
  9. 1 teaspoon dried oregano

For the meatball:

  1. 3 pounds ground beef, 80 percent lean
  2. 1/2 yellow onion, small dice
  3. 1 tablespoon fresh parsley, chopped
  4. 1 teaspoon crushed garlic
  5. 2 eggs
  6. 1 tablespoon plain seltzer
  7. 1 teaspoon Kosher salt
  8. 1/2 cup Italian breadcrumbs
  9. 1/4 cup pecorino romano cheese
  10. 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
  11. Parmesan, for garnish

The only other thing we changed is that we used three eggs. I normally use 1 egg per pound of ground beef for regular meatballs, so yeah.

Start time: 6:42 PM
Cook pasta (I think we actually made about ¾ lb. You know, just in case):

20170318_192104

Garlic and onion photo for gauging proportion:

20170318_192815

Meat + remaining recipe ingredients:


S: Do you need a bigger bowl?
B: I don’t think we HAVE a bigger bowl

20170318_194512

S: Holy meat.

We lined a ceramic bowl with aluminum foil and began shaping the meat-sphere:

20170318_195357

Maybe we made the meat-walls thinner than the recipe, but this actually held about 1/2 lb cooked pasta:

20170318_195754

Meat-lid formation & attachment:

Measuring the giant meatball:

B: It’s like the most genetically fucked up meatloaf ever

S: Bigus Dickus meets Testicles (tes-ti-kleese)

B: Ha. That’s fitting considering we’re apparently listening to the Grateful Dead from Boner Springs, KS

In the oven: 8:05 PM

The recipe says the meatball should be 160°. We weren’t really sure if they mean 160° in the meat or the spaghetti. After 45 minutes, the meat was at 140°, the spaghetti was only at like 85°, so we put it back in for another 20 minutes, and then another 20, so it was in for 85 minutes total.

Out of the oven: 9:47 PM

We let it sit for a while, and then Skillethead handled operation “get giant meatball out of the bowl and onto the platter”

B: It looks like a curling puck
S: Jesus Christ, look at that thing

20170318_214735

B: It appears to have developed a fissure

20170318_215020

S: Uhhh, what do we do with it?
B: So you just dump some sauce on it, I’ll put some cheese on it, and we’ll call it a day

S: Let’s put a birthday candle in it.

B: Why?

S: Why not?

20170318_215407

Verdict: Ridiculous, but delightful. I mean, if you like spaghetti and meatballs, what’s not to like? It’s pretty easy and the recipes claim your friends and family will be impressed. I’m guessing by “impressed,” they mean “silently judging you and thinking ‘this is why America is fat’”, but then still totally eating it anyway.

 

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